I failed so many times. I had a huge chance that I held by the tail, but it always slip out and left my hands empty. But when it left my hands empty, it left a part of me empty. The part where you can find the drive, the motivation and excitement. I was failing again and again, not being able to fulfil my dream any time I tried.
When I was a small kid I wanted to start filming videos with my friend, when there was no thing such as “Youtuber”. Youtube was at the start, there was so much potential but we simply bailed out, as we were not sure about what to film at that time.
Few years later, I started writing online. I basically had my blog, where I would write mainly about self-development – knowledge I gained from the books I read or from the seminars that I attended. I had some readers and feedback, but as I felt that my studies and blogging is too overwhelming, I failed again. I tried to go back to my blog few times over a period of few years, but I could never do it on regular basis and spend enough time on it, which was exactly what it needed.
Later on I started with my “Youtube career”, which was quite promising to be honest, as there was NO ONE doing daily vlogs in my country at that time. I felt it was even more special as I was vlogging from a foreign country, showing people life from a different perspective. I did that for few months and I must admit that I gained some following that I could see constantly growing. But then I got scared, I wasn’t giving it 100% anymore and well… I failed again. I thought about going back, but I just told myself that there is already a lot of people doing it and my chances are now very low.
I had another website, another channel… even tried to write my book few times. But something would always stop me. But now I know that the only “thing” that was stopping me was myself. I wasn’t really putting as much effort as I thought in it and I definitely wasn’t consistent. I would get a motivation, but as soon as it was there it was already gone.
I’m not writing this to make a victim out of myself or to make you feel sorry. I know I had chances to fulfil my dream, but I threw them away. And you know what, it probably wasn’t the right time for me. I wasn’t tuned in the same frequency as my dreams were.
And here I am again, working on my dream. I know that this time I’m not gonna fail. I am doing something I love and I can’t see any circumstances that could stop me. Simply because I will not allow them.
Talk to you soon. ❤